The proclamation states: "By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners."
This is the part that means the most to me and is the part I struggle with every day. You see, I've been blessed with a wonderful career. I have got a great job, that pays handsomely, and has pretty good benefits. I've also been blessed with a wonderful husband -- it just happens that he has little education and less earning power than myself.
The deepest desire of my heart is to stay at home and raise my children. I want my primary responsibility to be nurturing my children. And I know it pains my husband to not be able to provide for our family and make all my dreams come true.
I struggle a lot because I know the Lord wants me to stay at home and raise my children. I often don't feel like I have enough faith because I can't just up and quit my job and depend on the Lord to take care of us. But I also know that the Lord expects us to be self reliant.
President Gordon B. Hinkley cautioned women, at several times, using several different words to be very careful about working outside the home. He said, "I hope that if you are employed full-time you are doing it to ensure that basic needs are met and not simply to indulge a taste for an elaborate home, fancy cars, and other luxuries."
My husband and I have spent a lot of time and energy this year refocusing our priorities. We've set financial goals. We've paid off all of our non-mortgage debt and started saving an emergency fund. We've analyzed our budget and decided to try and live more simply. We are trying to curtail our spending, and trying to learn to live on less money. We can't currently survive on my husbands salary, but we are trying to learn how. We are setting aside the extra money we have now while I am working so that we can ensure our financial security should the opportunity for me to stay home arise.
And in the mean time, I try to be the best mother that I can be. That means that I've given up some of my ideals about the perfect house and the perfect meal plan. I'm learning to accept that dirty dishes in the sink are okay, and breakfast cereal for dinner every now and again is fine. It means that I have more time for hugs and kisses after work and time for one more story before tucking my boys into bed.
I have to work really hard to not be to tired and too stressed to be loving at the end of the day. Everyone is tired and hungry when we get home, and we are all at our worst. It's been even harder since my husband has been working afternoon and evenings. It's just me and the boys and there is a lot of yelling and crying on every one's part.
I'm making an effort to yell less and love more. When Moose is yelling at Monkey, and Monkey is crying and hitting Moose, I try to remember that yelling isn't going to help anything. Our children deserve to be taught with love and respect.
These are some of the things I do to nurture my children when I am at home with them:
- Snuggle a little bit every morning, no matter how late we slept.
- Pray everyday for guidance in the things I need to teach them. .
- Pray with them every night.
- Pray for patience and a tempered spirit.
I pray a lot. Motherhood has helped me to realize how much help I need. I can't do it on my own. I need my husbands strength and support, and more importantly, I'm learning to rely on my Heavenly Father. Through motherhood, I'm becoming closer to my Heavenly Father. I know that will make me a better wife and mother and person.
Are you a working mom? What are some of the things you struggle with? How do you deal with your struggles?