Normally, I love the fall. I love the colors. I love the crisp cool air. I love making hot soups for dinner. I love wearing sweaters and my knee high boots. I love school supplies.
This year, I'm dreading fall. I want an endless summer. I dream of infinite days watching my boys play in the wading pool in the back yard, running naked through the grass with golden brown skin. Unnumbered days, rocking my baby girl on the porch swing. Countless trips to the library on Friday mornings. But alas, it all must come to an end.
For come the first of Fall, my maternity leave is over. I must return to the "real world". The world in which I don't get to be just a mom. I won't get to bake bread to go with dinner, or prepare meals that take longer than 30 minutes. No more late mornings cuddling with my kids.
I have about 2 1/2 weeks before I must return to work. I'm trying to enjoy every minute of it, but I find myself spending too much time dreading what is to come. So this is it. I'm crying about it here for a minute. I'm complaining, and I'm moping. I'd really like to spend the next two weeks cuddling with my kids and rocking my baby while she sleeps -- breathing in every moment. Savoring every sweet moment, enjoying the now.