Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Failure

I just gave up. I don't know why. One day, I just decided that I wasn't going to go for my walk. I think I was tired, or my knee hurt, or the boys were crying. I don't even remember. And it doesn't even matter. I gave up. I quit. Like I always do. Brett encouraged me, commanded me even, to keep it up. And I ignored him. Maybe I even resented him a bit.

I wish I knew why I continue to quit. It seems sometimes like it's the only thing I'm good at.

On my walks, I had been listening to Jillian Michael's pod casts, and she talks about set backs. Heck, everyone talks about set backs. Like everyone, Jillian says they are going to happen. And everyone says that when they happen, you need to accept it and move on. You aren't a failure if you have a set back, as long as you acknowledge it and you move on. You move forward again. They say you should move on the next day, or even the next meal or workout.

It always seems to take me a little longer, okay, a lot longer. But now, I'm moving on. I've accepted that I've made mistakes, that I'll never reach my goals if I don't continue to move forward. And I'm moving forward today. Starting now.

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