Learning to write again

As I've tried and tried to blog, I've become very frustrated. I have several posts that are in process, yet to be published. Why aren't they published? Because I can no longer write.
I used to write. I think that I used to write well. I used to dream of being an author. Writing children's books or short stories. I used to believe that I had a novel some where in me.

I would write for hours. I had notebooks filled with poetry -- mostly adolescent angst. I loved to journal, though I was never very consistent with it.

Now, I have a hard time putting words into sentences. I can't seem to put my thoughts down on paper. I have a couple of ideas why I can no longer write.

First, I'm out of practice. I've spent the last 10 years writing code. It's simple. It's logical. It flows. It's like a writing a recipe. This part has to come before that part. There is no transition necessary. It's all nicely put together with curly braces and semi-colons. There is no question about whether or not I need a comma. If it's not syntactically correct, it doesn't compile. It's easy, and it's not all that creative.

Second, I stopped reading. And I love to read. I love to read almost anything. I would read until the wee hours of the morning. I would read and read and I wouldn't stop, not until the last page was turned. I didn't get any sleep. So, I made myself stop reading. A couple of years ago, I started reading again. (Goodnight room. Goodnight moon. Goodnight cow jumping over the moon...) And while Goodnight Moon is an excellent book -- one of my personal favorites -- it isn't exactly stimulating for me.

I want to be a better writer. I want to encourage my boys to love reading. So, I've decided to read more. I'm going to dedicate some time to myself during the day to read and write. I'll use my blog as a test ground for my writing.

Bear with me. Hopefully, it will get better.

Teeth are not for biting

I have two wonderful two year old boys.  Each has their own strengths.  We've recently discovered that one of Monkey's strength lies in his jaws.  For the last week, he has bitten Moose at least once a night after being put to bed, as well as biting another little guy in nursery on Sunday.  I worry if that behavior continues, my Relief Society attendance will return to pre-nursery levels.  One bite on Moose's arm drew blood and the bruise still remains.

"No bite" and being sepearted from play during the day hasn't seemed to help, exept when he's caught during the lunge.  I wasn't sure what to do when the biting occurred with the door closed and the lights out.  Until my wonderful sister, who has three boys of her own, recommended the book Teeth Are Not for Biting by Elizabeth Verdick.   After I got off the phone with her, I immediately got online and reserved a copy at my local library.  The next night, after Monkey bit Moose yet again, I told him sternly, "Teeth are not for biting, teeth are for eating apples and crackers."  This, he seemed to understand. 

I picked up the book at the library this afternoon and the boys love it.  I think I've read it 8 times this evening.  The words, "Teeth are not for biting. Ouch! Biting hurts." seem to resonate with both boys.  Monkey looks with concern at an illustration of a crying girl who was bitten.  Though, Moose yells "No!" and smacks the image of the boy who did the biting. (I think we'll have to work on hitting next.)  The illustrations by Marieka Heinlen are bright and cute.

Hopefully, it will help in our home. We also picked up Tails Are Not for Pulling by the same author.  I think our family dog will appreciate it.

Barn Swallow Babies

This spring, we have had the exciting experience of watching a pair of barn swallows build a mud nest on our front patio.
I wondered when we could expect chicks, and just last week, I saw one peeping it's head out of the nest.

I've been careful to leave them alone, though I've been very curious how many little chicks we had. I feared getting attacked by mom and dad, so I mostly stayed clear. Just yesterday, we saw three little heads peeking out the top.

Unfortunately, today when B came home, he found one sitting in the flower bed. It was still there when I brought the boys home after work. Mom and dad seem to be even more protective of this little chick then they were of the nest and eggs. Its siblings still appear to be safely in the nest, so I don't know if this little guy tried to fly, but couldn't. Or did it get pushed out of the nest by it's mates.

I'm trying to leave it alone, though I really want to put it back in it's nest. It seems a little frightened, and it really upsets the folks when I go out the front door. I was able to snap some pictures though.

Any thoughts on what I should do with the little guy?

Spinach Salad with Strawberries

I bought a flat of strawberries at Costco -- which I really hate to do, because I never finish them all before they go bad. After making a small batch of chocolate covered strawberries (hey, it's still fruit!), I had plenty left over.

I made a delicious spinach and strawberry salad to go with dinner last night. I topped it with the following dressing:

1/2 cup Olive Oil
1/4 cup Red Raspberry Vinegar
1/3 cup Sugar
1 TBSP Poppy Seeds
Dash of paprika

Place all ingredients into a dressing shaker, and shake until blended. The dressing is pretty sweet, so modify the amount of sugar to taste. The salad was just tossed baby spinach and sliced strawberries -- everyone loved it.

I also read up on Tray Freezing at a new favorite blog, Make and Takes. I'm definetly going to do that with rest of the strawberries (if any outlast the dressing). It's so much easier than freezer jam, it takes practically no time, and I'll actually do it.

Operation Beautiful

I often find myself talking negatively about myself. It's not actually very much fun, and often throws oneself into a huge pity party. Last time I hosted a pity party, I served myself a whole pan of brownies. Further self-loathing shortly followed.

During a Relief Society lessons, I was told that it takes like 7 seconds for a thought to become a feeling. I'm pretty sure it's not gospel, but I'll take it for what it is. The idea is that when we have negative thoughts about ourselves, we have seven seconds to turn them around, before we start to feel badly about them. Practicing this will keep us from throwing frequent pity parties.

I used to write in dry erase markers things like, "You are beautiful.", "You are worth it." and "You deserve the best." on my mirrors. Then I got married, and thought that B would think that was silly. But it's amazing to me how powerful simple messages like that can be. It's hard to look at yourself and analyze the dimples and creases on your belly when you are staring at the words "You are beautiful."

I found the Operation Beautiful website recently, check it out.

And remember...

Sweet Pickin

B and I took the boys to Emmet for some cherry picking. We missed the festival last weekend, but heard the cherries were still on for another couple of weeks. J wasn't feeling well, as he had been running a bit of a fever last night, but E thought it was great fun. He was very proud to pull the bucket around the orchard, even though it was almost as big as he is.

I hope to find a cherry pitter, and freeze some of our little bounty. A co-worker mentioned that her family enjoys frozen cherries -- popped like candy, or in a smoothie. I hope to give that a try.

I think they would go great on a spinach salad, or something. I always love fruit on a green salad, but have a hard time knowing what kind of dressing to use when I make my own. Please share your suggestions or recipes for adding fruit to green salad.

Simplify

I've decided to simplify my life. This isn't a small change, it is actually a really big change. I'm taking it one step at a time though. I want to live more simply. I want my sons to live more simply. I want our family to be more focused on, well, family.

I've started with decluttering our home. I only want to surround myself with things that I love and will be loved by and bless my family. I don't want to be controlled by the clutter in my home.

I'm also decluttering my online life. All of my blogs have been neglected lately, and since I don't actually have any readers, I don't feel to badly about it. I will be retiring Du Willie Design, or at least putting it on an extended sabbatical. Many Small Changes will be my blog. I'll continue to post about my weight-loss journey. But I'll also post about my life, my family, my hobbies, and what ever else I find interesting.